Here is a brief recap on where I stand in life. I’m a stay at home mom of three beautiful children. Two girls ages 5 and 7 and a 1 year old little boy. Them and my husband are my everything. Its a tough job being the stay at home mom. You laugh, you cry, sometimes you even wish you worked instead of being at home. But at the end of the day when those kids hug you and kiss and say how much they love and appreciate you, that is what makes it all worth it at the end of the day.
Now here I am today with a pleasant surprise for all you who have cared to follow me on my journey. We are expecting our 4th and final child. It was a surprise to both of us to find out I was pregnant but we are going into it full force and as happy as we were with the other three. Its going to be a wild ride, a tough ride even, but as long as we have each other we can get through anything.
I’m somewhere around 5 or 6 weeks pregnant I think. I believe I’ll be due around the end of May, beginning of April. I won’t have any solid due dates or anything until my appointment on September 18th. Today I saw my regular primary care physician who confirmed my pregnancy but I already knew but they seem to think they have to confirm everything. Haha.
As of right now the only symptoms I have are breast tenderness. It is weird to not have any pregnancy symptoms as I had the book thrown at me with my other three and spent the entire 9 months throwing up constantly. I’m glad I seem to have avoided that, at least for the time being.
I will keep everyone updated as I go along. Please comment what you would like me to share during my pregnancy. I will do a week by week recap as well. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for being a loyal follower on my journey. I really do appreciate it and respect that you are a part of journey.
I did not grow up in your typical house. I didn’t have the parents who loved me unconditionally. I only had my great grand parents and they are the ones who loved me. My mom had me when she was 15 years old. I’ve been told she was too young to raise me, I’ve been told she didn’t want me, I’ve been told I was taken away from her and I’ve even been told she just left me one night and left herself to run off with my dad.
I didn’t know the true story until very recently. I felt I had to share this story with the world to give me a chance to let it go. Its all I’ve been thinking about since it happened and I need to heal and move on. So I’m telling my mom one last final goodbye and I wish her all the best in the world.
My mom used to come see me when I was younger, maybe around 8 or 9 years old. Sometimes she’d take me to her place to sleepover, but I always had to really beg my great grandmother to let me go. She was very protective of me. Its sad she has passed away into heaven but I know she is happy there.
The sleepovers and visits lasted for a short time. A few years later they picked back up again. I was maybe 15 or 16. Somewhere in that area. My mom was with my stepdad Scott and he was really great to me. I have a lot of fond memories of him. Sadly he committed suicide and I didn’t see my mom again until the funeral but of course she was too upset to really notice I was there. It was actually my dad who held me while I cried. I’ll never forget how my dad held me. It was our most father/daughter time ever and I hope to see more of that in the near future.
After the passing of my step dad, my mom got heavy into drinking. She was always a drinker but now she was a plain alcoholic. I’d get phone calls from her at midnight with her being drunk and telling me I was a mistake to her. One time we even had to go and get her out of jail. She knew I was upset with her but she was too drunk to care. Not long after that she was drinking and got into a car accident with my brother and sister. She lost her license and can’t drive anymore.
Fast forward another couple years when I was around 17 or so and my mom had long moved to Ithica which was a good couple hours from where I live. I didn’t hear from her from a year or more but then I started going up there to spend the nights. There was even talk of me moving there to live and go to college. But I came home one day, (The day before I’d meet my husband,) and I didn’t hear from her for another year or so.
I had invited my mom to our wedding but when it was time she didn’t show up. She was “too busy”. I cried that night but I knew it was nothing to be surprised about. Seeing or hearing from her is like dust in the wind. I didn’t hear from her for a good 2 or 3 years after that.
After awhile I just got used to not seeing or hearing from her. My husband was always the first to tell me not to hold my breath about her but I always did until I was blue in the face. My mom would show up once in a blue moon, hang around for a short time and make me think it was for forever and then you wouldn’t see or hear from her again.
I gave her chance after chance to be there for me and my family. To be a mom and grandma to us. To be a part of my family but she just couldn’t stick around long enough to really see what she had right in front of her. If she had stuck around maybe she’d have seen all the love she could have had and the family she would have had. But she made her choice.
She made her choice the day she wrote this to me, ” Dominique, you definitely have no room to judge my parenting …..you married a loser who refuses to take responsibility for his own children. Same applies to you too sweetheart. Try being parents instead of mooching off everyone else. After all, you’re such a good mommy. 😁 But don’t worry, I’m not judging. Just please don’t ever call me family ever again. Family doesn’t do this to family. You all know who you are.”
So this is my final goodbye to the mom I wish I’d have gotten to know and to the same mom who called me a mistake and chose to walk away from us. You had a family here that was willing to love you and care about you mom. I still love you and I will until the day I die but I know now your just not able to be my mom. You have your own problems you need to work out before that can happen and I don’t see it ever happening. I wish you all the best in the world and I hope you find happiness and peace. Love you mom.
I watched a video online today about the perspectives as seen by a mom vs that of a child. It really opened up a whole new world for me to see. I’m very glad I watched it and now this is what I take from it.
At the end of the day, moms are just plain worn out. We’re tired, we might be a little grumpy, (Or a whole lotta grumpy), we might even be sad and depressed. We might be dying to get our hands on a glass of wine, a good book or movie and do nothing the rest of the night. After we wrestle the kids to bed of course.
During the day moms go through many things. Temper tantrums at home and in the stores, dirty diaper explosions, one child hitting another child, spilled drinks and food, things flushed in the toilet and a whole lot of other things to boot. We are constantly on our feet running, shopping for groceries or cooking a meal.
By the time our husbands get home, there isn’t much of ourselves left to give to him. We sit down, (Well we try to sit down) and tell him about our day. We viewed our day as chaotic, hectic, a mess, frustrating, exhausting, humiliating, and downright depressing. We might even be angry by the end of the day and take our frustrations out on our husbands without meaning to.
But if your husband sits down and asks your kids how their day went, he gets a completely different response. They’ll say they had a fun day, they played with their baby brother, they love their brother to the moon and back, mom gave out a lot of kisses and hugs, they helped clean up messes which was a lot of fun, and mom played and made them delicious food.
Children don’t realize how much of a handful they are. They are just too busy enjoying life and that’s how we should be too. Forget the stresses of the world we live in and just enjoy being alive. We should all strive more to be like our children because they set really good examples if you take the time to see and hear them.
So everyone, I give this challenge: Watching your children and learn from them. Now go and follow your dreams.
Today was a fun-filled day full of laughs and great times. While the girls were at school Josh and I played with little Elijah a lot and just hung out. We took a walk with him before the girls got home from school. We went around the big block and it was pretty hot outside but it was a lot of fun.
After the girls got home from school we took them up to Mossy Bank Park for some hiking and playing on the playground. We actually saw a baby black bear while we were up their. It was both cool and scary. Mama bear had to be somewhere close by, right? Anyway, we did some hiking and then played at the playground. I swung with Elijah for a little bit.
When we got home I cooked french toast for dinner tonight. Everybody ate good tonight for dinner and got popsicle’s afterwards. I tried to go for a run but not having run all winter, I didn’t make it very far. It was very disappointing but I’ll get there. I want to run with Josh because he does 5Ks and tough mudders.
Well that pretty much sums up our day. It was a lot fun. I especially enjoyed the walk and the hiking. Don’t forget to follow you dreams!